Ask Dr. Ruth – Can The Relationship Overcome Infidelity?

After 30 years of working as a sex therapist, Dr. Ruthfailed to share her wisdom. Here, she answers the most urgent questions about sex, relationships and life. Send your inquiries by email to drruth@time.com,or follow the previous delivery of Ask Dr. Ruth

Q: How can I rebuild trust in my relationship after cheating on my partner?

A: The first thing you should do is ask yourself “Do I want to stay with my partner?” If you are not sure of answering, it will be very difficult to rebuild trust. It will be difficult no matter what the reason, but if it is not in the right frame, it may be impossible. If every time you see your partner naked, you think he was naked with that man or that woman, then how do you trust your partner again? You may not be able to do it because you will need a lot of willingness on your part not to think about such ideas and you will not be able to get those thoughts out of your mind unless you are committed to maintaining the relationship.

If you can tell yourself honestly, everything that happened, but I want to stay together, will be much easier. If your goal is to survive, you will stop wondering if the work meeting that takes place late at night is a real meeting or evidence of manipulation.

If your partner apologizes and promises that it will not happen again, there is nothing else you can do. This person must continue in his life. If you insist on keeping them in closed chains, the relationship will never last. So the key is really inside your head. If you are willing to trust your partner, you can do it. But if you have doubts, I doubt that you will succeed and I suggest you move on.

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